Being a Good Sport
Darrell Morris

It seems that the organized sporting events our children participate in have gotten rougher and more violent. Unfortunately, I’m not referring to the sport itself, but to that segment of parents who can’t seem to control themselves at games. You know the ones. If they aren’t shouting at the coach, they’re yelling at their kids or cursing out the referee. In some more publicized situations, they are physically attacking the coaches, referees, fellow parents and even the young players.

What has happened to the idea of good sportsmanship? As coaches, we try to instill it in our young children, but often struggle when encountering a parent who exhibits all the wrong behaviors. How can we teach our children how to behave when parents are having a meltdown on the side lines?

It’s true that youth sports have become more professionalized over the recent years and that this has contributed to creating a highly-competitive atmosphere. It’s also true that some parents have developed unrealistic expectations as they relate to their kids and sports; becoming way too wrapped up physically and emotionally in a game. Some may dream of a full athletic scholarship for their kids or fostering the next Tiger Woods. Others may simply be living out their own childhood dreams of being a star athlete.

Whatever the reason, we could potential do our children’s self-esteem serious damage by sending them the wrong message. If kids believe that what they are doing isn’t valuable unless they take away some type of material award such as a trophy or scholarship, what does that tell them about their self worth?

For most kids, participating in sports allows them to hang out with friends and have fun. In the grand scheme of their life, a game is but a minor event. It isn’t one of those moments that define who they are or what they will become. It’s not going to lessen their chances of getting into the college of their choice and it probably won’t even warrant a second thought six months from now. And, you know what? That’s the way it should be. That’s how it should be kept in perspective by both kids and parents alike.

Besides keeping the game in perspective, here are a few other tips parents can do to foster good sportsmanship:

• Reward your child regardless if they win or loose.
• Applaud the other team’s players when they
   make a good play.
• Recognize and reward effort.
• Respect the referee’s calls.
• If you have a problem or concern, discuss it after
   the game, not during.
• Instead of focusing on the game score or stats,
   talk to neighbors and friends.
• Before you ask your child if they won,
   ask them if they had fun.
• Refrain from telling your child they could have
   done better.

Remember, our kids often look to us for guidance and our actions can definitely speak just as loudly as our words. Don’t just tell them what good sportsmanship involves; show them through your own deeds and actions.